Sunday, 22 April 2012

Decline and Fall: The Last Days of the Coleman Empire

It's only nine days to go now, until the elections for London's Mayor, and the London Assembly. And it's all going swimmingly: day by day, the prospects for the return to office of the current Conservative Assembly member, Brian Coleman, look increasingly unlikely.

Thank God. Or the Gods, perhaps.

Coleman has a date with destiny, on May 3rd. At last, every mean act he has committed in the years of his political meddling, here in Broken Barnet and beyond, will come back to him, in the form of not so instant karma, and he will, or so we fervently pray, be removed from his position as our Assembly member, and also as the Chair of the London fire authority.

It must be acknowleged that Coleman has no one to blame except himself.

With a display of the most idiotic lack of self knowledge this fool has, over the last couple of years, engineered his own downfall by a series of fatal errors.

Like one of the more deranged Roman emperors he has believed in his own godlike powers to the point of lunacy, and this self indulgence has now delivered him to a dark corner of the palace, where it is only a matter of time before poison is slipped into his wine, or the Praetorian guard come out of the shadows to despatch him.

They will act, at last, because the mob, the electorate of Broken Barnet, have spoken, and there is too much at risk to their own self interests to allow Caesar to remain in charge.

Signs, portents, and yougov polls: it's not looking awfully promising for Brian Coleman, AM (interim)

Nero fiddled while Rome burned: Caligula married his sister, and made his horse a senator. Brian Coleman messed about with parking.

Ok, might not sound quite so bad - but that act of folly alone was enough to seal his fate in this borough, and of course we have a long, long list of other sins to take into account.

There are very few sections of the populace, here in the republic of Broken Barnet, that Coleman has not managed to upset, in recent times. Every driver, every older resident, every shop owner, all the single mothers struggling to live in 'the real world', every disabled resident dependent on council transport, every park user, every citizen who refuses to be delighted at the pay rise he and his Tory colleagues awarded themselves, as soon as they were elected, at the same time as lecturing us all on the need for austerity measures, and budget cuts.

If you wondering if we are being unfair to Coleman, and struggling to think of reasons not to vote for him on May 3rd, Mrs Angry politely suggests that you take a visit over to the site created by local hero, Mr John Baldy, who is compiling '101 reasons to sack Brian Coleman'. At the time of writing, he is up to no 50. I beg you to take a look, and pass on the word.

And if you need any other encouragement to get up on May 3rd, stroll on down to your local polling station and vote for Andrew Dismore, you are either a. mad or b. Brian Coleman. Hello: an interesting image in the shape of a venn diagram has popped into Mrs Angry's feeble mind. Just look what's in the middle section!

Let's move on.

Former Foreign Secretary David Miliband has been in the borough this morning to support Coleman's Labour rival Andrew Dismore. See the report in the local Times here - in which Andrew tells us that it has been suggested all he needs do to win is walk about the borough wearing a t shirt declaring that he is NOT Brian Coleman. Andrew is not relying on this strategy, tempting though it is, and will be busy canvassing and attending all hustings events - in marked contrast to our becomingly shy and retiring Tory candidate.

Some additional, and very interesting news this morning: the latest Yougov poll suggests that there is currently a 10% swing to Labour in Barnet/Camden - and that is without the full impact of the Coleman factor ... if this is carried through into the vote next Thursday, he is well and truly finished, and once he is safely on the ground with his legs flailing, his Tory colleagues will of course be rushing to his side to offer him their support and condolences.

Infamy, infamy: yep - they really have got it in for you, Brian: mind your back. And your front.


Oh, by the way ... (afternoon at City Hall, good to see you are calling in this afternoon - nice lunch? Head down on the desk for forty winks?) ... while we are on the subject, Mrs Angry would like to draw your attention to the following exciting events this weekend:

#SackBrian Weekend of Action

- Are you fed up with Brian Coleman?

- Do you want to stop him being your London Assembly member?

- Will you stand up for public services?

Make a stand by joining us this weekend as we deliver 10,000 leaflets to the community.


Saturday 28th April, 11am – 1pm

Friern Barnet Pop-up Library, Friern Barnet Road, London N11 3DS

Sunday 29th April, 11am – 4pm

Cafe Buzz, 783 High Rd, North Finchley, London N12 8JY

The success of the pop-up People's Library has come to be seen as a symbol of the emergence of a new resistence movement in Broken Barnet: the Barnet Spring, if you will, a pro-democracy movement, fed by a groundswell of anger and resentment by the residents of this rotten borough against the tinpot dictatorship of the current Tory administration.

The run up to the GLA elections has seen an unprecedented rise of opposition not just to Coleman, but to the reckless policies of the local council. The allegations of misuse of parking permits, the idiocy of Robert Rams' panicky attempt to disassociate himself from the local parking charge scheme, the treatment of the residents of Friern Barnet campaigning to save their library - all of these issues have come together with perfect timing, with only days to go to the poll which could transform the political landscape in this borough, if not the whole of London. Boris's campaign is in serious trouble - Brian's is dead in the water. But we can't take anything for granted: dissatisfaction must be expressed through the ballot box, not by sitting at home and waiting for everyone else to roll along to the polling station. Please do your bit, and encourage others to do the same.

Remember: Broken Barnet expects that every man and every woman shall do their duty ...


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