Lynton Crosby: begging for help
Boris Johnson looks forward to his visit to Broken BarnetMrs Angry has decided to cheer herself up by doing a good deed.
A very sad email has just popped into her inbox. Dear, dear, Lynton Crosby again. Poor old love. He is always writing to Mrs Angry, labouring as he does under the misapprehension that she is a big fan of Boris Johnson, and is desperate to see him re elected as Mayor. He is continually pestering Mrs Angry, in fact, and asking for her help. One does have to wonder if the famed Aussie spin doctor is really all he is cracked up to be if he has to keep asking for my assistance, you know. How many years has he been at this game, and he still hasn't got the hang of it?
Now Mr Crosby wants her to 'help secure a fourth council tax freeze'. He wants her to write to her Assembly Member and urge him or her to support the budget vote for this. Hmm. Mrs Angry's Assembly Member is er, can't remember, because frankly we never hear anything much about the London Assembly here in Broken Barnet, except just before an election. Ah; here is a helpful postcode search .... oh, it's, you'll never guess: Brian Coleman ... goodness me. Yes, well not happy about another council tax freeze, in fact, but happy to write to Brian Coleman. And here is the suggested letter, let's see ...
"Dear Assembly Member,
I live in Barnet and I am writing to urge you to support Mayor Boris Johnson’s budget, when the Assembly meets on 25th January and again on 9th February. Boris Johnson wants to freeze City Hall's council tax for the fourth year in a row.
Now more than ever, it’s really important that the Assembly approves this. Times are tough right now, and every bill through the door seems to be bigger than the last. But City Hall's council tax has been frozen for the last three years - it is important this is extended to a fourth year. We don’t want to go back to the old days of endless tax hikes—Londoners cannot afford it.
As my representative in the Assembly, I urge you to work with Mayor Boris Johnson to pass the budget and secure a fourth council tax freeze for hardworking Londoners. I would be grateful for a reply on this matter, but please do not add my email address to your mailing list."
Ok. Interesting. Might need some editing. Oh good, it is possible to edit the draft. Let's have a go then. How about ...
"Dear Assembly Member,
I live in Barnet and I am writing to urge you NOT to support Mayor Boris Johnson’s budget, when the Assembly meets on 25th January and again on 9th February.
Boris Johnson wants to freeze City Hall's council tax for the fourth year in a row. Now more than ever, it’s really important that the Assembly realises that people are desperate to protect their vital services and see the freeze of council tax as a cynical gesture that will have a hugely detrimental impact on the daily lives of Londoners, especially the elderly, the young, and disadvantaged members of society.
Times are tough right now, and every bill through the door seems to be bigger than the last. Hmm. City Hall's council tax has been frozen for the last three years - and now is the time to think about the cost in human terms, rather than trying to present this as a virtue and something to be proud of.
You say: 'We don’t want to go back to the old days of endless tax hikes—Londoners cannot afford it' : Londonders cannot afford endless hikes in transport costs, yet the Mayor and Assembly are perfectly happy to keep raising fares, though, aren't they?
Perhaps you might like to explain exactly why we pay so much tax to keep so many Assembly members sitting in comfort in City Hall, and explain the real benefits that you and Mayor Johnson have brought to Londoners in terms of value for money? It seems to many of us that the GLA members and Mayor are a luxury that we cannot afford, in the present climate, and the money would be better spent on keeping a library or childrens' centre open.
As my representative in the Assembly, I ask you to explain to your constituents in detail the ways in which you have worked to justify the hugely generous income we give you in your post as GLA member and at the London Fire Authority. I note that you have made savings at the LFEPA which have been used to offset other budget demands. Very clever. Do you think there are savings that could be made in your income which could be better spent elsewhere?
I would be grateful for a reply on this matter, and darling do feel free to add my email address to your mailing list. A birthday card and a little something at xmas would be nice too.
Looking forward to seeing you & Boris at the Peel Centre next week for an interesting Talk London debate,
love and kisses,
Mrs Angry"
Now then, just click send ... and oh, look on its way to Brian Coleman ... oh and to Labour members Nicky Gavron, Murad Qureshi, & LibDems Mike Tuffrey, Caroline Pidgeon, and Dee Doocey ... I don't think you asked my permission to send an email to them, did you? Tut tut. Hope this isn't a breach of the Data Protection Act, Mr Crosby. Disappointed that a copy has not gone to Tory members, though. Don't they have a vote anymore, or is Brian Coleman's the only one that counts, like here in Broken Barnet?
Mrs Angry hopes that other voters might like to send their budget suggestions to Boris, and help out Lynton Crosby at the same time - have a go, why don't you?
