Showing posts with label dick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dick. Show all posts

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

A mummified cat, with no head, and of no worth: another Barnet council meeting


An alternative buffet for our Tory councillors


Quite a few councillors - and bloggers - were absent from tonight's full council. Some councillors, like Robert Rams, had important engagements elsewhere. He was at a meeting about the controversial Cat Hill development, which he opposes because it is so ENORMOUS and it is something in his back yard, but in another authority. Brent Cross Cricklewood is ENORMOUS too but it is in Tory Barnet, in a Labour ward, so it is of no consequence. Sadly, therefore, as we shall see, any questions to him in his Cabinet member capacity had to be answered by the leader, Richard Cornelius - and what a mistake that was ...

Our favourite councillor, Brian Coleman, was in attendance, and appeared to have arrived from a very important function, in full Moss Bros Fat Controller outfit, tails, waistcoat, the whole package. Mrs Angry thought perhaps he was dressing to impress her, after her harsh words about his down at heel shoes and clashing shirt and tie at the last meeting. Who knows?

Also present was the former Tory leader, Lynne Hillan, who was warmly welcomed with a round of applause from councillors on all sides of the chamber, after her recent serious illness.

The question and answer session was packed full of the usual One Barnet idiocy. Most of the questions were, funnily enough, answered by Coleman, whose responsibilities appear now to embrace every function of the council: like we said, the One Barnet one stop shop. At one point he even complained that his email inbox wasn't big enough to contain the volume of correspondence he receives. So popular. But perhaps it is also true to say he has to answer the most questions because his decisions are the most questionable.

And, equally predictable, was the number of nauseatingly brown nosing back slapping non questions placed by Councillor Brian Gordon, who has evidently learnt NOTHING from his recent performance appraisal by Mrs Angry. Just wait.

Is Barnet going to introduce the new 20 mile speed limits? Guess what: no.

Will Coleman join Gordon in welcoming the chance to raise the 20 mile speed limit in certain areas, which will ha ha 'increase safety' ?

Yes, Coleman most certainly would.

Labour's Cllr Coakley Webb asked several pertinent questions about the collection of historical artefacts that belonged to the Church Farmhouse Museum, recently shut by our shameless Tory councillors so that they can sell off the listed building for property development.

A written answer from Rams claimed that the only objects to be removed from the collection have been three old council signs - and a mummified cat, without a head. How very apt, thought Mrs Angry.

Were the other objects being properly cared for, and were they secure? The leader shrugged: they were in the same building.

But had the collection been valued and insured? Cornelius was clearly bored by these questions, and sneeringly informed her that as someone who valued things for a living (he is a Hatton Garden jeweller) he could assure her that she should not place any relevance in the worth of the collection. In Broken Barnet, Councillor Coakley Webb, there is no value other than monetary worth. Heritage is only of value if it can be sold off to someone else. Who cares about the priceless pieces, the artefacts and ephemera of our local history? Not Richard Cornelius.

Here is the most amusing question of the evening, though. This is from the poison pen of Councillor Brian Gordon, addressed to Councillor David 'Goldenarse' Longstaffe:

Q:What is your view on the so-called alternative residents' forum staged recently by certain political activists under the rather nebulous title of 'Barnet Alliance'?

A:On the one hand it is good to see that residents are interested in discussing the services that Barnet Council provide and I appreciate the frustrations that have brought the Barnet Alliance together (Blimey: bit radical, Cllr Longstaffe). On the other hand (ah) the aims of the Barnet Alliance, as epsoused on their website - no reduction or change in delivery of services by the Local Authority, the NHS and the Education Department - will make us bankrupt. The Barnet Alliance's few members want political influence on a vast range of policies, but without having any responsibility or accountability to the electorate.


Yes, that's right, no accountability to the electorate - just like, er ... Uh oh: now Brian Gordon is on his feet. He refers to certain 'irritating agitators' (you looking at me?) who will be dealt with In A Summary Fashion - and who should Find Something More Constructive To Do ... Mrs Angry laughed, wondering what sort of Summary Fashion he had in mind. Arrest? Death by firing squad?

And on to Question 12.

Mrs Angry has to declare an interest here. This is an issue she had a hand in referring to council, along with her local Labour councillor Ross Houston, after our last local safer neighbourhood police panel meeting, to which we both belong.

In these panel meetings, members set the priorities of concern for local police SN teams: in our ward, the most important issue is always Barbara Langstone House, a council hostel for vulnerable residents, which you may recall was staffed for years by MetPro, Barnet's unlicensed, non CRB checked and illegally operating security employees.

Attendance at this hostel absorbs a large amount of police time. Since MetPro's removal, and - at last - an agreement by the council, in belated response to many requests by police and other parties, to provide support to the hostel, rather than use it as a dumping ground, problems which have been a continual cause of local concern, including drug dealing and anti social behaviour, have greatly improved. Councillor Houston and others also persuaded the council to stop placing families with children in this place, as clearly it is a highly unsuitable and potentially dangerous environment.

To our horror, we discovered that Barnet has resumed the placement of families in this hostel despite the fact that there is a continuing problem with drug abuse and dealing, and that the council does not provide ANY support or counselling for the several residents in the hostel with serious mental health issues. You might imagine that Barnet, post MetPro, might feel under some duty of care to vulnerable families with young children and be mindful of their safeguarding responsibilities. Sadly, this is clearly not of any significance to our Tory councillors. This is a scandalous situation, yet all that Leader Cornelius had to say was that he was going on a visit there sometime soon. Simply appalling.


Q:Following the decisions made at the Barbara Langstone House 'rapid improvement event' held in 2010 it was agreed to immediately re-locate families with children and to 'cease placing families with children forthwith'. Barbara Langstone House continues to house vulnerable adults. Can the Cabinet Member confirm that this policy of having no children is still being implemented. If it is not can the Cabinet Member confirm when and by whom this policy was changed and whether or not there are any children currently staying at Barbara Langstone House?

Answer by Councillor Tom Davey

Following an initial attempt to implement the approach agreed at the rapid improvement event, it was subsequently found that there is ongoing need to use Barbara Langstone House to provide short term accommodation for some households with children. This is partly because of the increased difficulties in procurement of other types of short term temporary accommodation due to market conditions and changes to local housing allowances, but also because it was found that there was a shortfall in the number of single people needing accommodation.

The lease on Barbara Langstone House is due to expire in 2013, and the Council will be
considering whether to renew this over the coming months in the context of the ongoing needs of housing applicants.

NB: No formal decision was taken to depart from the policy agreed at the rapid improvement event.


In other words, they don't care about the risk to the well being of children, and it was admitted at the meeting after a supplementary question that there are children there at the moment. The denial that a decision was made to cease placing families there is typical, and the fact that children are now living in such a place again is further indication, if any more were needed, of the total inadequacy of the housing policy of this council.

Hello: look here - Question 40:

Would the Leader and Cabinet Member confirm that no jobs will be lost to the local economy as a result of the One Barnet 'easyCouncil' Outsourcing Programme?

Written answer by Robert Rams:

The Council will continue to do everything it can to support the local economy through its
partnership work but we live in difficult times caused by the previous Labour government. As the Member is aware we have had to cut our budget by 26%. This does not weaken the Council’s focus on providing good quality services to Barnet’s residents. It does, however, mean that the council does need to work ever more efficiently. The best support that can be provided to the local economy is to provide those services in as efficient and cost effective way as possible.

If the council did not make these savings, it would have to raise council tax by 46.86 per cent over that three year period. This would equate to a £521 rise in council tax, which would be detrimental to the local economy.


While every sympathy is felt for the people the council has made redundant last year, its relentless drive for efficiency has led to far fewer redundancies being planned than in many other local authorities. Kent County Council in the last year has made 3,107 people redundant.

Where the council will outsource staff, its objective is to secure the best possible contract whilst balancing the needs of the various stakeholders, including our employees. The Council recognises that change can create uncertainty for staff and so it has developed a clause which exceeds TUPE requirements and will ensure that Terms and Conditions are unchanged for the first twelve months of the contract. This is a significant guarantee.

The council is not seeking to limit potential contractors’ delivery proposals by specifying where services are delivered from. Over and above this, the Council under European law is not able to restrict a bidder to the delivery of services from any particular location.

He does love that phrase, 'relentless drive for efficiency', doesn't he? In fact he uses it at every opportunity, with, er, relentless efficiency. Councillor Ram's sudden enthusiasm and expert analysis of European is interesting, but may not entirely stand up to scrutiny.

What is clear from the leaked documents published this week is that Barnet's senior management team and leadership have made strenuous efforts to make the outsourcing tender process as amenable as possible to the wishes of potential bidders, rather than protect the best interests of residents or employees, and that no consideration whatsover has been given to the wide impact of the loss of hundreds or even thousands of local jobs as a result of their reckless policies.

Labour leader Alison Moore stressed the vital importance of retaining as many council jobs as possible, and referred to the leaked document and comments she had read on this blog yesterday, asking Cornelius to deny the devasting implications for council workers' jobs. Mrs Angry watched the Tory councillors shifting in their seats and staring at the ceiling. Leader Richard Cornelius stood to answer Councillor Moore. 'I would not comment on a leaked report', he said, with a smirk, and sat down. And that was that.

That, council officers of Broken Barnet, is how much the Tory leadership of this council cares about you and your future: and remember this, won't you, when the Chief Executive writes to you again and refers coyly to staff members about to be made redundant as 'those feeling less valued today'.

Oh well. Time for some light relief: business for debate, the real issues that concern our councillors. Item 3.1, for example:

'Appropriate punishment for burglars - Councillor David Longstaffe'.

Yes. Really. The first piece of council business was a rant by Actor-Councillor David 'Goldenarse' Longstaffe, who is very cross about burglars. Very cross. He wants them to be punished. Appropriately. He wants them to have 'gaol sentences'. How quaint. Presumably he would like a Victorian gaol with hanging, flogging, and a treadmill.

Mrs Angry can report that this was one of the funniest performances she has yet witnessed in the council chamber of Broken Barnet. Councillor Longstaffe may claim to be an actor, but his delivery and sense of timing is abominable, especially in conjunction with his pomposity, and virulent anti lefty ranting, and and the more he tries to act the part of an accomplished speaker, the funnier it is.

He began his speech with a very puzzling statement.

He mentioned policing in London and told us he dismissed the 'scaremongering' statistics put about by 'Labour's greatest sperm donor' ...

No: really ... the chamber and public gallery fell silent, and Lisa Rutter, the Tory Mayor, resplendent in her red gown, frothy blouse and moth eaten furs peered across the chamber at her colleague. She stopped his rant: 'Er, can you explain that last remark?' she asked, in evident confusion. 'Sperm donor?'

Labour's Kath Mc Gurk exchanged looks with Mrs Angry, who knew what the scowling Goldenarse was alluding to, and was unable to stop herself becoming overtaken by an unseemly fit of childish laughter.

Longstaffe muttered something inaudible, and the Mayor asked him again to explain. 'Yes,' said Kath Mc Gurk: 'As a good Catholic girl, I think you'll have to explain it to me too ...'

For the third time the Mayor asked Longstaffe, who was trying to carry on, to explain his reference. His ill tempered and ridiculous reply was that Ken Livingstone, who has expressed his concern about police cuts, and whose figures Councillor Longstaffe disputes, er ... has many children.

'So does Councillor Brian Gordon' yelled a Labour member, to the amusement of the now semi hysterical chamber.

Eventually Longstaffe managed to rise above the raucous laughter amongst all sides of the room, and public gallery, and return to his rant. Burglars were evil parasites. The rise in burglary was entirely the fault of the Labour party, who have encouraged burgling. What? Councillor Longstaffe has recently been burgled and his personal space was invaded. Ah. Now we are moving towards an understanding of why this item is on the agenda: good to know that the constitution of our council allows for Tory members to let off steam about their personal issues, isn't it? Much more useful than extending an opportunity for debate of One Barnet, outsourcing, the future of our council services and so on.

Let's have a heated debate, then about burglary. It was generally agreed that burglary was a bad thing. Labour's Pauline Coakley Webb pointed out that it was particularly bad in Barnet and that it would get worse, thanks to Tory cuts in policing in our Safer Neighbourhood teams, meaning we are losing five much needed sergeants, and that, despite the sudden anxieties of Boris Johnson after the riots, these and other cuts still stand.

Tory ranter Brian Gordon rose to speak. The public gallery groaned. He too felt we should not be too scared to take a strong line with burglars, and send them to prison. He explained to us that burglary was as serious a crime as rape. Yes: as serious as rape. Mrs Angry suggests that Councillor Gordon asks any woman, perhaps his wife and daughters, if they would agree with him. Mrs Angry imagines that Councillor Gordon does not have a high regard for the opinion of women, however.

Longstaffe rose to respond to comments. He started raving about some burglar in Nottingham who should have gone to prison but got off because he cited his right under the Human Rights Act to a family life.

'Did he have a cat? asked Mrs Angry, trying to see it from all points of view.

'Was it a mummified cat?' asked a neighbour in the public gallery.

After this lengthy waste of time we moved on to a Labour item for debate: Barnet's local economy. Alison Moore did her best to raise concerns about the wide ranging impact of the Tory administration's policies on the prosperity of the borough, from the effect of the extortionately high level of Brian Colemans' new parking charges, and the difficulty of the new payment processes, to the newly topical issue of the shameful secret procurement agreement not to protect local jobs in the massive outsourcing of council services.

The Tory leader sneered across the chamber: in regard to the impact on town centres, he told us, we needed to realise that 'we don't live in Toy Town' ... we don't need a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker ...'

Labour's Kath Mc Gurk, no doubt like Mrs Angry eyeing the gowned up Mayor and the two white stockinged, Mace bearers in their embellished robes, breeches and tricorn hats, disagreed with the Leader's view. 'Well: I must disagree - welcome to Toy Town', she said, looking around the chamber. 'We've just heard from Noddy, but of course, sadly, Mr Plod will not be in attendance, because you've cut his post.'

After this pointless 'debate' it was time for a break and the councillors' buffet. Kath Mc Gurk came to the glass wall which separates our elected representatives from the danger of contact with members of the public, and leaned over.

'I still don't get it,' she yelled to Mrs Angry, 'That joke about semen ...'

'No, no, not semen,' yelled Mrs Angry, in reply, as the Director of Corporate Governance, still in his seat, stared hard at his shoes - 'Sperm ...'

Kath Mc Gurk still looked puzzled, and here Mrs Angry should explain that we were both pupils at a local Convent grammar school where sex education was not given a high priority. Perhaps you can tell? Mrs Angry can recall, however, a memorable biology lesson from Sister Mary Paul, in which she went into a long and detailed explanation as to how, in the 21st century, national sperm banks would mean that women could take over the world and continue to populate it without any need for men, who weren't much use for anything. Sister Mary Paul, I think you may have had a point.

Mrs Angry used to know what men were useful for, at one time, but has forgotten. *

After stuffing themselves on the tax payer funded buffet our councillors drifted back to resume the meeting.

Kath McGurk had an item about Boris Johnson's fare increases. Tory members always talk through or deride the speech of any Labour member: if the member is a woman, this is even more marked - grossly disrespectful of course, but typical of the Barnet Tories, who have little respect even for the participation of their own women councillors.

Councillor and assembly member Brian Coleman sat back with his usual expression of contempt and attempt at ridicule. In fact, looking at him last night, Mrs Angry could not help but be reminded, by his insolent 'smile', of a line by the poet R S Thomas: what was it - ' a grin, like the slash of a knife on his face' ...

Councillor Mc Gurk patiently explained, at some length, in her fearless manner, to Councillor Coleman that ordinary people depend on buses, not taxis - his grin became slightly more difficult to maintain, and just for a fleeting moment, a One Barnet nanosecond, Mrs Angry was surprised to see a hint of vulnerability by our Councillor Coleman to a sensitive subject - goodness me, has all the recent particularly bad publicity about his 'living in the real world' outburst actually caused some sense of unease? He showed another reaction of, no, it can't have been - discomfort - when she referred later to his plans to push through privatisation of our 999 call centres. Kath is the only councillor who can really get to Coleman in the way he so deserves, in fact. Don't mess with St Michael's girls, Brian.

Councillor Coleman stood up to announce that he had, in fact, renounced no, not Satan and all his works, had renounced the use of his free travel permit. Well, as he prefers to make use of travel expenses and in particular taxis, this is hardly a saving for the taxpayer, is it?

More childish, boorish behaviour by male Tory councillors as the debate continued. Tory Rowan Turner declared himself to be astounded by the audacity of the motion. He thought, ha ha, look at him, carrying on the metaphor with such aplomb, that Pinocchio was living in Toy Town. Kath retorted that he put the dick into Dick Whittington. Oh dear.

They all carried on arguing pointlessly. Arguing, not debating. There is no debate in Broken Barnet, and our council meetings, like the residents forums, have become stage managed events designed to prevent discussion and the expression of dissent. Although, in order not to offend, she continues to stand when the chaplain prays, Mrs Angry now refuses to stand up in council meetings, when the Mayor and mace bearers parade in and out of the chamber. A small act of rebellion, but there you go. Until the Tory council remembers that their administration is on office to serve the best interests of the borough, rather than their own, and until they undo the anti democratic assault on our consitution and council procedures, MrsAngry will no longer recognise that their administration has any right to respect or formal acknowledgement from her.

Remember what the idiotic Councillor Gordon said about the alternative residents forum:

"The Barnet Alliance's few members want political influence on a vast range of policies, but without having any responsibility or accountability to the electorate."

Yes, but that's how we do things, here in Broken Barnet, isn't it, Councillor Gordon?


*Mrs Angry has now remembered: something to do with putting up shelves.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Stand and Deliver: highway robbery in Broken Barnet

Cabinet Resources Committe, 13th January

The area in which I now live used to be, until relatively recently in the history of our borough, a part of Finchley Common: a place notorious for brutal highwaymen like Dick Turpin and Jack Shepherd, who spent their days and nights lurking in the undergrowth with pistols and evil intent, waiting for some hapless coach of passengers rushing through the danger zone to fall into their bloody hands.

Times have changed, of course. If you stay too long in this neck of the woods you don't necessarily go in fear of your life, but you are still at risk of being relieved of all your disposable cash. And the ruthless ne'er do wells targeting innocent citizens going about their daily lives are more likely to be doing so in the guise of elected Tory councillors of Barnet Council, rather than as the romanticised career criminals of a bygone age.

No one coshes you over the head, these days, or threatens to pepper you with shot. Highway robbery, in Broken Barnet, in the year 2011, is carried out by stealth, by cunning, and by committee.

Ah: and tonight there were dark deeds aplenty amongst the gang of four culprits comprising the Cabinet Resources Committe, which was meeting to approve a huge number of highly controversial proposals imposing massive charge increases in a wide ranging and very long list of fee based activities - from allotments, burials to - oh dear - parking ...

I didn't hear any discussion tonight of the driving force behind these proposals, that is to say, a purely monetary one. And the interesting thing about the parking charges, in fact, is that despite the implication that this will go towards making good the budget deficit entirely caused by the wicked Labour government ( nothing to do with those lovely bankers, remember) all parking revenue is ringfenced and can only remain in the highways budget. So all that extra dosh which will be chiselled out of Barnet motorists can only be used within a very strictly defined area, not spread about for the general good. Perhaps we will see all potholes filled with gold, and another boroughwide round of lamp post replacements then?

Feelings were running high tonight. Very high. In fact, let me give you a taste of what is to come in this report, when I tell you that what started off as a well attended but rather subdued meeting eventually descended into utter chaos in the public area, a call for security, and an enforced ten minute adjournment.

As we discussed in an earlier blog, the councillors had been hoping to get away with the charge increases, as well as the removal of free parking bays, by keeping publicity and consultation to the barest minimum, and arranging what little warning there was about parking changes and hikes to take place over the holiday period. When residents found out, rather late in the day, what was happening, a smouldering resentment began to build, and this has been rapidly turning into a boroughwide blaze of fury.

These committee meetings are generally poorly attended by the public, but some of the many residents who are enraged by the enormous charge hikes had come along to this one, and a few had submitted questions about the allotment rises. I don't know why there were no questions about the parking charges, as this was the most controversial issue. I strongly suspect that many simply failed to understand their right to pose such questions. Audience participation is not exactly encouraged at these carefully stage managed events, for obvious reasons.

Those who had tabled a question appeared not to realise, and of course, it was to the councillors' advantage that they did not realise, was that they would be given written answers, but would also be entitled to attend and ask a supplementary question in person of the committee. None of the questioners had prepared a supplementary question, and some of those who had tabled questions had received replies by email and not known they could attend and extend the point of their question. Others claimed they had not been able to ask questions which had supposedly been raised before: in short there was a great deal of confusion about what is, after all, their fundamental right to engage in the democratic process of local government

Ah, and what a surprise: as predicted by Mrs Angry, an amendment had been made to the agenda, in which, by means of a neat trick, the charge increases would be approved in principle, with no discussion of the levels, as this had been postponed to a later date, cleverly averting, with useful ambiguity and evasion, much of the flack that was flying their way over the increases.

The members of the committee present were rather fewer than might have been expected: we had Andrew Harper, the deputy leader, sitting happily, like a rose between two thorns, in between little Robert Ramsbottom and our Mr Punch, Richard Cornelius. The chair was my personal One Barnet budget consultant, Daniel Thomas. Oh: I know what you are wondering: where was Dick Turpin? And where was his faithful moll, Lynne Hillan?

Yes, a disappointing and mysterious absence from the Cabinet member responsible for these charge proposals, your favourite and mine, Councillor Brian Coleman. Where was he? Was he unavoidably detained? Was he suffering from a diplomatic illness? Had he been rounded up, gagged, and imprisoned in a dark cellar, somewhere deep in the bowels of the Town Hall? Or was he sulking, after his embarrassing defeat earlier this week at the London fire authority, where, outrageously, he had been trying to enforce plans to end the rights of members to (how dare they?) ask questions at their meetings? (This aborted move may or may not be linked to the rumour published in the Standard on Tuesday that there are moves to sack ALL London firefighters and force them to apply for a shrunken number of posts.)

*Update Friday: there is an interesting story in the Ham &High about Brian Coleman and his comments about too much money being awarded to our borough from Tfl ...

So: Brian wasn't there, and nor was Lynne. Perhaps she's still on one of her well deserved holidays. (Hope it wasn't that Saga cruise being targeted by pirates!) You don't think - no, it couldn't be - could it, that they were trying to avoid this meeting for some reason? Surely not.

In their absence, anyway, the assembled bunch of B list Tory councillors still managed to do us over good and proper, and as it turned out, not a thing could be done about it. Except explode in anger, and yell in the direction at the said B list Tory councillors, as almost all the residents left in utter disgust and fury, once they realised the charges had been approved, without any debate. (There is no debate, in a Cabinet meeting of any sort, just nauseating self satisfaction, cant and hypocrisy.)

Daniel Thomas, the chairman who looks like a head boy and talks like a Thatcherite throw back, didn't see why we should worry about anything that wasn't a frontline service. Andrew Harper agreed. Robert Rams had spoken to allotment holders in his consituency and said they were more interested in taking over the allotments themselves, in accordance, he noted approvingly, with correct One Barnet thinking. 'Drivers of their own destiny' proclaimed Councillor Thomas, in equal admiration ...

As for the parking charges, Andrew Harper had just a shadow of a question: how did the proposals shape up compared to other boroughs? Just an after thought, you know, no need to consider that sort of thing when you are first drawing up such significant proposals, is there?

The cooperative senior officer was happy to reassure him, quoting some inner London figures which rather puzzled Mrs Angry, and other residents, as of course Barnet is an outer borough ...

Emboldened by Harper's rebellious attempt at vigorous scrutiny, (well - Brian and Lynne weren't there so no one could kick them under the table) Rams blurted out that there were lots of comments from residents about the loss of free parking places. Ah. Ooops:

The senior officer wasn't concerned. In her opinion, it could be argued that there was a 'contradiction' in having any free places in controlled parking areas. Oh, that went down awfully well with the residents, I can tell you ... in fact, this is the point when they began to get very, very cross.

A woman shouted across to the committee - 'When are you going to open the floor up to questions?'

They weren't, of course.

The councillors carried on congratulating themselves. Daniel Thomas thought Barnet's charges were good value for money. Harper justified the rises because we haven't revised the pay and display rates for a couple of years now.

The senior officer made a remark about the new changes encouraging people to move on and not block a space all day. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear: that was it.

'Rubbish!' shouted a member of the public. There was pandemonium. People began to stand up, move about, and shout at the committee:

'You all have free parking passes, don't you?'

'You won't get away with this!'

'You are an absolute disgrace!'

'You don't listen to the public!
'

'You're meant to represent us!'

The sort of people who were acting in this unprecedentedly outspoken way were not political activists: they were ordinary, decent, middle class residents, elderly allotment holders, residents of areas with CPZs, several members of the orthodox Jewish community, a young girl, a student, traders.

An impassioned retailer from Golders Green yelled across the room: 'how can you say these charges are going to benefit trade?' Another woman shouted that she hadn't known about the changes until yesterday, the lack of consultation was outrageous.

Enter the council security, and council officers: throughout all this, of course, our Tory councillors went rather red, kept their heads down, and remained silent. Due to the uproar, the Chair snapped that there would have to be an adjournment. Most of the residents left the room in fury. As she left, one woman told them: 'We voted for you - we won't make the same mistake again, just wait and see!'

Oh, goodness me, what have you done, you silly Tory councillors?

There followed a couple of other items, but no one really bothered to show much interest.

They approved the renewal of the Sodexho contract, despite Cllr Cornelius' slight concern about people possibly having to eat 'mush' in order to subsidise the very expensive special meals some elderly or dependent people require (the fusspots, eh?).

I thought we were going to get some probing questions from Andrew Harper (sorry, Deputy Dear Leader, Andrew Harper) on the issue of a renewal of resources for some project tackling the issue of domestic violence, but in fact he said that although he recognised the importance of this subject, he would just like to point out (you may wish to sit down now, in case you faint with the shock) that his title had been incorrectly given in one part of the report. Will this be amended? It was agreed that it would, which I am sure will be of no small relief to us all.

At this point, the public were excluded while they all discussed some property matter, and Mrs Angry took the welcome opportunity to slip away into the rainy night.

So there you have it, another magnificent example of the way they do things in the London Borough of Broken Barnet: see our Tory councillors' commitment to the principles of democracy and transparency in public office, to the process of consultation, engagement with the community, and a new dedication to the concept of localism, and marvel at the way in which it will empower residents to take the important decisions which will shape the future of our borough!

Or maybe not.