'Fairly swiftly subdued' - unless you are Councillor Brian Gordon: another appraisal

Mrs Angry grooming Councillor Marshall


Councillor Brian Gordon's 'tribute' to Nelson Mandela: apologies from Mrs Angry on his behalf


Mrs Angry lay sprawled on the sofa, dressed in her usual writing attire: a shocking pink taffeta and chiffon ballgown, diamond necklace, her heart shaped face framed by a sparkling tiara, and clutching her favourite little lap dog, 'Councillor Marshall', whilst dictating, with her eyes closed, to her faithful secretary and amanuensis, Mrs X ...

'The Eighth Earl of Essex Park was an impatient man,' she began ... 'And his valet was very often obliged to bear the brunt of his notorious temper. Tonight was no exception.

The Earl pulled down his breeches and leaned over the end of the bed, as his manservant stood to attention.

Damn you, Robeson, snapped the Earl, Tighter, you fool ...

I'm trying my best, Your Grace ... but the ties ... the ties are fraying, and about to give way ... and I can't ... I can't quite manage to find the right position ...

Tighter, I say!

I wonder, Your Grace -would you, instead of the corset ... would you not rather consider joining the Reverend Giles' Slimming World programme, every Tuesday night, in the Methodist church hall, in order to discover the amazing you?

Such unspeakable impertinence, roared the Earl: I'll have you horsewhipped for it, man!

Oh, no: not again, whimpered Robeson, I -

I think, interjected Mrs X, that you had better stop there, Mrs Angry.

Mrs Angry sat up. No: you could be right, she said, smoothing down her dress, and stubbing out her cigar on the carpet. F*ck this for a game of soldiers, let's have another Tory councillor appraisal instead.

Mrs X sighed with relief.

Send in Councillor Brian Gordon, demanded Mrs Angry ....

Now then: Mrs Angry must make a confession.

Mrs Angry has a tendency to dislike anyone named Brian.

This dates back to starting school, aged four or thereabouts, and having to sit on a table with a horrible, spoilt little boy called Brian who always hogged the best tin of crayons, and cried if anyone took the tin away, so Mrs Angry had to colour in with those horrible big fat dirty ones and always went over the edges, and made a mess of her pictures. Plus he used to sit all afternoon in the Wendy House with a girl called Annette and not let anyone else inside, and the pair of them never let anyone else play with the black and white rabbit, Spotty, either. Just saying.

This may well be why Mrs Angry is naturally predisposed to be irritated by Brian Coleman, and any other Brians. And nothing that Councillor Brian Gordon has ever done or said has encouraged Mrs Angry to alter her opinion.

Councillor Gordon has won himself the honour of an appraisal this week for some very bad behaviour. Please note that it is always a mistake, Tory Councillors of Broken Barnet, to remind Mrs Angry of your existence, if you have so far eluded her close attention.

Earlier this week, as you may recall, there was an alternative Residents Forum, organised as a response to the stagemanaged, censored charades of the official council run meetings. The Alternative Forum was a great success, and gave an opportunity for residents of all parts of the borough to air their concerns about local issues.

A report in this week's edition of the Barnet Press gives a full account of the Forum, and an editorial says:

'Frustrated by what they see as a deliberate attempt by the council to stifle free speech, residents of Barnet have attempted to regain their voice. At Tuesday night's well-attended, alternative residents' forum, no subject was off limits and everyone was given a chance to speak. It's just a shame that not one Conservative was there to listen. Maybe every single Tory member was at the party conference. Doubtful. Maybe they're frightened of confronting residents outside the safe, restrictive confines of a council-run meeting. Less doubtful. Either way, it's bad enough that so many residents feel the need to circumvent the political system entirely in order to get their voices heard. But for this cry for help to be ignored by those in charge of that system shows there's something very wrong indeed.'

On the same page there is a letter, addressing the very same subject, from Councillor Brian Gordon. Councillor Gordon is of course blessed with the gift of seeing only wonderful things in the post apocalyptic landscape of Broken Barnet. He is particularly keen on submitting lovely One Barnet friendly 'questions' at full council meetings, planted in order to big up his Tory Cabinet colleagues - a pointless party political exercise and one which makes a cynical nonsense of the question time procedure.

In his letter to the Press, Gordon discusses the Hendon Forum, of which he is the Chair, and he claims:

'Our forum is not hampered in any way by the new rules. It is only marred occasionally by the irresponsible actions of a small group of anti-council agitators, who attend with the sole object of shouting out and trying to undermine the democratic debates that take place. With firm chairmanship, those individuals are fairly swiftly subdued, but it is unfortunate that they cannot find a more constructive way to occupy their spare time.'

Er: yes. That's right. Apparently democratic debates take place, now, at the Hendon Forum. At least in the imagination of Councillor Gordon. And isn't it good news that these agitators who dare to protest during these new democratic debates are 'fairly swiftly subdued'?

Councillor Gordon represents the Hale ward in Edgware, along with fellow Tories Tom Davey and Hugh Rayner. Mrs Angry grew up in Edgware, and lived in Hale Ward, and is heartily glad that she does not do so now.

According to the online register of interests, Gordon works for a firm of solicitors and is also a journalist for the Charedi/ Orthodox newspaper 'Jewish Tribune'.

Last year, Councillor Gordon, who is a tiresomely frequent and abrasive critic of what he sees as the legacy of profligate Labour spending and wasteful practices in the public sector, was fortunate enough to be granted the gift of the chairmanship of the Policy and Performance OSC committee, and received, along with his fellow chairs, an extravagantly generous 54% rise in pay - from £9,974 to £15,333, for a post overseeing a committee which meets only twice a year. Lucky Brian.

Gordon holds some unapologetically forthright views, and has made some memorable comments in council meetings attended by Mrs Angry. Where do we begin?

Gordon is keen on strong discipline in schools. He was most displeased by the interest shown by many of Barnet's pupils in demonstrating against the tuition fee hikes. At a meeting in December, as reported in the local Times:

"In a question to Cllr Andrew Harper, who is in charge of education, Cllr Gordon said: “Can the council issue a directive to all the high schools in this borough in state control saying we as a council urge students be forbidden during curriculum hours to go to these demonstrations.

“It's completely inconsistent with what they're doing at school.”

However, Cllr Harper gave a cautious response saying: “I'm not at all sure either I or the director of children's services are actually empowered to do what Cllr Gordon has asked."

Other pressing concerns raised at meetings have included asking that schools take action to control the use of mobile phones in schools: again hardly a council matter. But Councillor Gordon likes to worry about things that are beyond his remit as a councillor: he evidently sees himself as some sort of moral guardian for the community at large, and has clearly defined limits as to the boundaries of acceptable behaviour -for everyone else except Tory councillors - here in the world without sin, the demi paradise of Broken Barnet.

You may recall the meeting last month at which he asked clearly horrified council officers if as an authority we ensure that children placed in foster care by the authority were placed with a father and a mother. He was told that of course in Barnet we abide by the requirements of equality legislation, and to the amazement of everyone else in the room, he asked for confirmation that this included placing children with same sex couples. Councillor Gordon clearly feels it is his business to establish the sexual preferences of residents wanting to foster: Mrs Angry wonders if he bothered to express his shock at the revelation that the authority allowed unlicensed MetPro employees who had not undergone CRB checks to have close contact with other looked after children in the borough?

Councillor Gordon has little tolerance, it seems, for those whose views do not accord with his own. At a full council meeting last year, for example, a large number of concerned residents came to demonstrate outside the Town Hall to protest about the proposed waste disposal faciltity at Pinkham Way, on the North Circular. This protest was one of the largest seen for some time, and kept up an orderly but vocal presence throughout much of the council meeting. In a passing comment, Councillor Gordon referred to the perfectly well behaved residents, who included elderly people, disabled people and families with young children, as 'rabble'. This was too much even for his normally tolerant colleague, Mayor Anthony Finn who immediately corrected him, crossly reminding him that they were in fact demonstrators. Councillor Gordon sat down.

Oh. The Mandela photograph.

In 2007, Brian Gordon sent a photograph of himself in the outfit shown, which he wore with pride to a party to celebrate the Jewish festival of Purim, to a reporter on a local newpaper. Councillor Gordon evidently thought that dressing up in this costume, and 'blacking up' his face in this way was perfectly acceptable, and not at all offensive. Not surprisingly, of course, this view was not widely shared, and caused a great deal of controversy. The story soon became reported nationally, in the Mail, even on the BBC.

Some people sought to defend Brian Gordon, although perhaps in some cases they might have done better to keep quiet. For example, see this letter in the local Times from a Mr Poster:

"I find it quite incredible that Councillor Brian Gordon has been (in your words) 'widely condemned' for the manner in which he chose to celebrate the Jewish festival of Purim, although it is not surprising that his opponents seized the opportunity to jump on the political bandwagon!

I entertained at the Sydmar Lodge Care Home on Purim, and hosted its fancy dress parade. During my last song, Councillor Gordon came in, promptly took my mike and spontaneously began 'rapping' to my backing music. It was quite hilarious, and (in entertainment terms) brought the house down. Quite a number of the wonderful carers and staff are black, and as far as I am aware, they all enjoyed the performance. Attached is a photograph of Councillor Gordon with mike in hand, and me alongside.

My late father was known as London's Al Jolson, and used to perform complete with black face in his own minstrel shows in the 1950s, also appearing as the famous entertainer in a stage adaptation of his life. Yes, we've come a long way since the demise of The Black & White Minstrel Show. Unfortunately, it's been down the wrong road, as a result of 'political incorrectness' ..."

Oh dear.

Some press stories claimed that a spokesman for Mr Mandela said that he did not really take offence at the Councillor's get up, except in the unfortunate choice of shirt, which is quite amusing and remarkably gracious, if true, but then in Mr Mandela's 27 years in captivity, including 18 years sleeping on the floor of a cell on Robben Island, for daring to hold political views in opposition to the brutal dictatorship of the apartheid governments of South Africa, Mrs Angry imagines that worrying about such pathetically insulting racial stereotyping might not seem awfully high on the list of his concerns. On the other hand, Mrs Angry's ANC activist friends, one of whom is now a minister in the South African government, would probably have had Councillor Gordon paraded and whipped through the streets of Johannesburg for daring to insult their former leader.

Mrs Angry always finds it impossible to understand why someone who is from one ethnic minority, which has faced centuries of the most appalling persecution and racist stereotyping, could possibly think it acceptable to caricature the physical appearance of someone from another ethnic minority. Perhaps it is just a lack of imagination, or a lack of empathy: it is unacceptable in anyone, but surely particularly so in an elected representative of a borough with such a diverse population?

While researching this post, Mrs Angry stumbled across a very interesting story in one of the local papers, published in 2007 at the time of the Mandela story. In an article here with the heading: 'Tory accused of racism 30 years ago' we are told that Councillor Gordon once held very strong views on the subject of immigration.

"Almost 30 years ago to the day, when the 21-year-old Brian Gordon was the Conservative candidate for the Burnt Oak by-election, he told a meeting of Edgware Conservatives that he wanted an end to immigration because he felt that Britain should not be the 'dustbin' of the world."

"The Hendon Times editor at the time, Dennis Signy, wrote a strongly worded comment in the following week's edition, saying that his interpretation of the dustbin remark was that 'any immigrant to this country can be classified as so much garbage'."

Take a look: if you are not shocked by the article, you certainly will be by the photograph of Gordon and his 1970's bouffant hairdo. To be fair to him - why, Mrs Angry, why? - it should be remembered that his remarks were made thirty years ago, and I suppose we all make idiotic mistakes in our youth.

In 2011, however, we live in a world fraught with conflict and divisiveness: we need community leaders and representatives who are sensitive to the demands of a diverse and changing society, and respectful of attitudes and lifestyles that differ from their own beliefs and standards. Is Gordon the sort of representative best placed to work for a more cohesive community, and one where a sensitive, liberal approach to social and political matters, and an awareness of equality issues, is so important? It's a fair question, isn't it?

Equality is an issue that is not well understood by the Tory councillors of Broken Barnet. Apart from a continuing tendency for individual councillors to make offensive remarks - one councillor last year was reported to the standards committee for allegedly making racist comments at a meeting, for example - we have heard one Cabinet member objecting to the obligation to provide transport for children with special needs, the disabled and vulnerable adults, and another state that Barnet was not the place for people on benefits.

The Tory administration's first attempt to remove wardens from sheltered housing was thrown out by a judge due to a lack of an equalities impact assessment, and the same reason has just obliged the council to halt the approval given to a controversial planning application. It would seem that this Tory administration sees the issue of equality as a problem, and a nuisance, and not as a motivation or a guiding principle.

But we digress.

Performance appraisal for Councillor Gordon? Well, in his defence ... er. Umm. Well, I suppose he does declare his interests openly and honestly, unlike some of his Tory colleagues. What else? He provides a certain amount of entertainment, with his combative approach in meetings. Oh: and he likes libraries. As we reported at the infamous 'rabble' meeting in April:

'Brian Gordon told us he liked libraries too. He liked them when he was a child. He liked them when he was a teenager. He carried on liking them. Now his children really like them and spend a lot of time in them. Who could blame them?'

Hmm. Mrs Angry doesn't really like Councillor Gordon, though. He will therefore receive the same score as his deputy leader, Daniel 'John' Thomas: -6, oh, plus minus another three for insulting Mr Mandela, and another one for that hairstyle in 1977. -10: worst score yet. Tut tut, Councillor Gordon, and you an Edgware boy, too.

And now do excuse me: must go and treat Councillor Marshall's fleas.

'Rabble': the residents of Broken Barnet

So: another full council meeting last night, at Hendon Town Hall, and another marvellous example of the complete contempt with which your elected representatives, the Tory councillors of our esteemed borough, view you, lowly citizens of Broken Barnet.

After several weeks of investigations, and of trying in vain to get the attention of councillors and or/senior officers in regard to the scandalous circumstances surrounding the use of the MetPro security company, tonight an emergency motion was submitted to the council for debate, although apparently only after yesterday's story in the Standard. I'm not sure why an item could not have been placed on the agenda before now, as Mrs Angry and others have been banging on about this for weeks now, but there you go. And as it went, it was a pretty good motion:

"Emergency Motion in the name of Councillor Alison Moore

Reasons for urgency - it emerged only yesterday that MetPro was not properly licensed, and the extent of the value of their contract - after the deadline for motions. The council has said they will audit the matter, but members ought to discuss the terms of reference of this audit and whether or not it is held in public given the nature of the public concern.

Barnet's Security Arrangements

Council notes the headlines yesterday in the Evening Standard relating to MetPro Rapid Response who have been covertly filming whilst on duty in council premises.

Council notes that it has now emerged that MetroPro was not properly licensed, and is now under investigation by the Security Industry Authority.

Council notes that around £1.2m of Barnet council tax payers' money has been paid to MetPro for security duties in council premises, but there does not appear to be any evidence of a Cabinet or delegated officer decision to employ MetPro.

Council also notes that there does not seem to be any official Council premises Security Policy in place.

Council is concerned that proper contract procedures may not have been followed in the engagement of MetPro, and that without a proper security policy in place the Council is vulnerable to something similar occurring in the future.

Council notes that the Council is investigating these issues, but believes that a full and proper public inquiry should be held in the interests of transparency.

Council therefore asks that an ad-hoc scrutiny committee is set-up to review the council's procurement of the MetPro contract, and the council's premises security arrangements."

It didn't stand a chance of being debated, of course. If you thought that it might, you would have to be someone who genuinely believed that the elected members of the Tory group on Barnet Council really gave a shit about the people they are supposed to serve, and in maintaining any kind of pretence at administering this borough with honesty, integrity and transparency. And what a tragic misapprehension that would be.

As it happens, tonight there really were some people in the public gallery naive enough to believe such things might be true. At least they arrived with such expectations, but I am afraid they left with any such ideals smashed into a thousand pieces. Because this is Broken Barnet, and we do things differently here, don't we?

Before the meeting started, a large and very noisy crowd of more two hundred people gathered outside Hendon Town Hall to voice their deep hostility to the new Pinkham Way 'eco park', which, as they pointed out, is not eco, and definitely not a park: it will be a waste recycling facility, just on the border with Haringey, but obviously going to affect many of us here in Barnet.

Once again, we stood outside and queued like a selection of particularly uncool clubbers desperate to gain entry to the exclusive venue that is the public gallery of our council chamber. We were monitored discreetly by a few police officers and, oh hold on: some new security people - smartly but soberly dressed, very polite, and -goodness me, wearing licences, and apparently not wearing secret, state of the art covert lapel cameras for the surveillance of dangerous anarchists and troublemakers like me and Andrew Dismore. Had a nice chat with Mr Dismore, by the way, Brian - sounds like he is so looking forward to dislodging you from your GLA seat, and indeed, how we all look forward to that happy day.

Once inside the hallowed portals of the Town Hall, Mrs Angry and Mr Tichborne and Ms Morris were greeted with warm welcoming smiles by a host of senior council officers, and directed to our seats. And so, after brushing away the drawing pins, and checking for live cables, we sat down and watched our councillors outdo themselves in yet another spectacular performance of arrogance, lunacy and total disregard for the interests of the community they are supposed to serve.

(Talking of senior officers: to that bloke in the stripey shirt who kept staring and staring at Mrs Angry through the doors, darling, I'm sorry, but I must tell you you're not really her type, and your continual gawping didn't do her persecution complex much good either.)

The Mayor welcomed the people in the public gallery. Carried away with an overabundance of goodwill, Mr Tichborne cried out 'And Good Evening, Your Worship', which for some reason set off an inappropriate reaction of childish laughter from Mrs Angry, who, sadly, often cannot restrain herself from helpless mirth in these stultifyingly po faced meetings, as you may note.

The Mayor's chaplain, poor man, struggled to deliver another well meant homily on the need for the councillors to be a source of blessings, harmony and happiness, to be honourable, devoted to our wellbeing, and reminding them that wisdom is the gift of the Lord, from whose mouth all understanding flows. It might be my imagination, but I thought I detected a note of sadness in the Rabbi's speech o this occasion, as if he knew he was wasting his time, and had been all throughout the year.

The Leader of the Council, Lynne Hillan, was mysteriously missing, which was a great shame. It also meant that at the meeting, Deputy Leader Andrew Harper suddenly found himself the possessor of a sudden and somewhat alarming increase in the size of his portfolio. Or it might just have been the way he was sitting. He did look awfully pleased with himself. But then he usually does.

Ah: questions and answers. Good. As usual Mr Toad tries very hard not to answer any, and Brian Gordon toadies to the Tory cabinet members and asks questions that allow them to remind everyone how marvellous they are.

Brian Coleman further endeared himself to the officers who do his work by blaming his mistake in wrongly describing a parking charge on 'Sheer incompetence and inefficiency by Council Officers'. Rather foolish, I would say, in view of the reduced numbers of council officers available to do any work and with those in place already working flat out to cover the amount of reports etc that the councillors rely on.

A Labour councillor asked if Coleman, who is a member of the North London Waste Authority, supports the building of the waste transfer station on Pinkham Way. His answer: 'This is a matter for Haringey Council's Planning Committee.' It was pointed out that this did not answer the question, to little avail. (Mr Coleman's connections with the NLWA do not, I am assured, represent any potential conflict of interest when this matter is discussed in council meetings.)

Mr Coleman is on best behaviour at the moment, in the run up to the GLA elections. Rumour has it that he has even taken to using a spin doctor to boost his chances of re-election: just imagine ... what a job, eh? Apparently, in the summer, Brian is being sent to a finishing school for young ladies in Switzerland, where he will learn to speak with (less) confidence, and acquire useful skills like not spitting at old ladies, and how to get in and out of taxis without showing too much ankle. Watch out for a new, smiley Brian Coleman, fond of kissing babies, backsides and bloggers - though not this one, probably. No tongues, anyway, Brian: sorry.

Ah: another idiotic question from Brian Gordon, this time asking that the council approve of er, schools being strict about the use of mobile phones: do we really have no more important issues to discuss?

And then: the chamber erupted in fury after Gordon chose to make a passing comment about the continuing chanting going on outside from the Pinkham Way protestors: incredibly, the word 'rabble' was used. There was outrage, not just in the public gallery, but within all sides of the Chamber. Even the Mayor's jaw dropped open, and he quickly reprimanded him by pointing out, no, he mustn't call them that, they were demonstrators ... The residents from the Pinkham Way group in the gallery, already horrified by the grim reality of what passes for democracy in our Town Hall were turned in one instant into lifelong non Tory voters, this adding neatly to several other new disaffected groups of residents, natural born Conservatives fatally alienated by the policies and recent behaviour of their elected councillors.

While this was going on, a certain councillor had summoned a council officer, who went to see his manager, who spoke to his boss, who spoke to the Mayor, who spoke to the public gallery, to tell two people who were filming that they must stop. The residents told the Mayor in no uncertain terms what they thought of that, and filming continued. Nip over to the Barnet Eye if you want to take a look. But not yet: oy, where are you going?

Labour Councillor Alex Brodkin asked when will Lynne Hillan support the webcasting of meetings and the blogging, tweeting etc of meetings, and if not, why not? On Hillan's behalf Andrew Harper noted wrily that he believed there was indeed great interest in this subject and therefore the matter would be discussed at a future meeting, on the twelfth of never - no doubt at the same time as the MetPro scandal and oh, maybe the conveniently forgotten performance appraisal of councillors?

Labour leader Alison Moore asked 'Will the Leader confirm that speaking rights for all councillors at Council will be maintained?'

Answer, outrageously was:' No. The Special Committee (Constitution Review) is currently considering council procedure rules on the rights of speakers and we await their recommendations.'

There you go - citizens, as Mrs Angry has warned, this Tory council is determined to stamp on every possible way in which free debate can take place within council procedures, and your elected representatives will in future be prevented from representing your interests in council meetings, in what is a truly shocking assault on our local constitutional process. This is localism in action, is it, Mr Pickles?

Time to move that the emergency response (see what I did there) motion on MetPro be allowed at the meeting. Guess what: Andrew Harper rejected the idea. The matter would be sent to the audit committee, to be sat on. Oh how we loved that, in the public gallery: howls of DISGRACE, COVER UP, WE DEMAND A PUBLIC INQUIRY were hurled at the Tory end of the chamber.
They looked away, as well they ought. With perfect timing and political judgement,Tory councillor Wendy Prentice suddenly complained: 'We're being filmed!' The bloggers and residents in the gallery who had been at the last meeting exploded in fury: 'We were filmed secretly by MetPro: so what are you doing about that?' She shut up then, amid a barrage of further furious heckling from the gallery.

*NB: there will be a further blog today on all the new MetPro revelations, due to the significance of recent developments.

The farce continued: the next item listed - and, oh, I promise you that I am not making this up, was:

A motion by Councillor Andrew Harper - Squatting.

Sorry, had to stop typing, laughing too much.

I wish I could tell you which very senior officer of the London Borough of Broken Barnet I spotted trying, unsuccessfully, to wipe the naughty schoolboy grin off his face, at this point. He knows who he is, I know who he is, and Mrs Angry has made a note of it in her One Barnet logbook of dissident behaviour, for future use.

Please note that we were not allowed to discuss the scandalous and 'illegal' use by Barnet Council, with apparently no contract or visible tendering procedure, the unmonitored use of apparently unlicensed bouncers who have been secretly filming ordinary residents, and despite a plea from the opposition, the item concerning the Pinkham Way plant was deliberately left to the end of the meeting, meaning the hundreds of residents, some with small children, were made to wait hours to see their fears dismissed as 'premature'. When the 'rabble' comment was made about demonstrators, the Mayor commented that in an hour or so, they would lose their voices anyway: I think that indicates to you pretty well what the Tories in Barnet think of the opinions of their residents: meetings must be managed so as to limit the amount of engagement by annoying members of the public. Controversial and important items are sat on, and idiotic, irrelevant ones are given endless attention. Which brings us back to Harper and his malodorous motion.

Mr Harper is very interested in squatting, apparently. Each to his own, Andrew: Mrs Angry is very broad minded. He is taking a position on this: and indeed, has an almost missionary zeal about the issue. He gave us what seemed like 69 different reasons, in fact, why we should be worried about it too. Oh, but especially in Hampstead Garden Suburb, where, as we speak, the house of the son of Libyan dictator Colonel Gaddaffi is being occupied by what you might call protestors, but Mr Harper would describe as squatters.

This, we were told, at great length, is probably the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of Broken Barnet. A hugely valuable house in the most affluent road in London has some uninvited guests, a house which belongs to the son of a tyrant, a despot engaged in civil war against his own people, who are struggling to acheive democracy after decades of oppression and abuse. Dear oh dear: my f*cking heart bleeds, Mr Harper.

He lectured us about the need to further criminalise squatting and spoke with fury about ha ha -'Neighbours From Hell' ... ah, yes, now then: just stop there. When Mrs Angry's life was turned upside down, and her family spent eighteen traumatic months being terrorised by neighbours from hell, courtesy of Barnet's housing policy, she wrote to Mr Harper to ask for his help, as Ms Hillan would not reply to any emails. Mr Harper shrugged his shoulders and refused to do anything. What goes around, Andrew.

It seems neighbours from hell only matter if they live in Winnington Road, and upset a couple of billionaire constituents of Andrew Harper - oh and my admirer John Marshall, who seconded the motion, so enthusiastically I am afraid to say he resorted to the most appalling language, and used the word bl*ody. And I thought you were a gentleman, Mr Marshall.

The truth is that recently the residents of Hampstead Garden Suburb have become a little disillusioned with their Tory councillors, and efforts must be made to win them back after upsets over the parking charges, the rudeness of Brian Coleman, oh and now they want to shut their little library too: Saif Gaddafi will be gutted, I am sure. He loves rhymetime with Starbucks on a Tuesday afternoon.

Having mystified the inexperienced residents in the gallery with the amount of council time spent on this ludicrous motion, they were now obliged to listen to the hypnotically boring drone of Councillor Thomas on central government budget matters, the deficit, yawn, bla bla bla mumble mumble mumble, all that stuff, with no new relevance to anything or anyone: so bad an elderly man in front of me shouted out: 'I can't hear you - thank God!'

A very frustrated resident stood up and tried to address the meeting: 'Do you ever talk about Barnet?' he demanded. (Not if they can help, it, is the answer, of course.)

Andrew Harper again, oh God help us: he went on, with no sense of irony, about localism and how we must not ride roughshod over local communities - yes, really. Councillors, he informed us, are elected to speak for local communities - ah, I knew they were there for some reason. 'But you don't' shouted a resident. 'Do you know what local means?' shouted another.

Mrs Angry's mind began to wander at this point. She was brought back to the debate, eventually, by a realisation that for some reason Jack Cohen was talking about arsenic levels in food in 1959. Wishing fervently that there was some arsenic to swallow and release her from the interminable proceedings, it was a relief to find it was now time for the break - and an opportunity for Tory Councillor Barry Evangeli to avail himself of as many biscuits as he could stuff down in eighteen minutes.

During the break, Mrs Angry had an interesting discussion with fellow blogger, the charming Mr Mustard, and then she talked to the Pinkham Way objectors behind her who were incensed at what they had seen at the meeting so far. In their naivete, they really thought that they would see an evening of honest, open debate on issues of local concern, and what did they get? The careful management of controversy, insulting remarks about their protest, and a showcase rant by the Deputy Leader on behalf of the Gaddafi family's property rights.

When the meeting resumed, things didn't improve much. We were obliged to sit and listen to Robert Rams tell us how fabulous he is, (in his own estimation) how fabulous our libraries are - yes, we know, and goodness me, he kept mentioning sshh ... reading. He did slip a Starbucks reference in as well, mind you.

Susette Palmer, thrilled at being coalition partnered into the library review, thought everything was therefore marvellous. She likes libraries because they hold stitch and bitch sessions, or maybe knitter and twitter, or Rutter and nutter, sessions. She sat down, very happy, and continued knitting while Barnet burns. Actually, is that allowed, under the council constitution, knitting in the council chamber? Ask Eric Pickles, someone.

Brian Gordon told us he liked libraries too. He liked them when he was a child. He liked them when he was a teenager. He carried on liking them. Now his children really like them and spend a lot of time in them. Who could blame them?

What Robert Ramsbottom wished to tell us, he informed the chamber in an unbearably smug way, which had Mrs Angry itching to leap over the glass barrier and give him a good slap, was that with his not quite as bad as could have been library review, he had produced an outstanding example of the One Barnet master plan. Er: no, Robert, in fact the residents of Barnet have produced an outstandingly good example of how a well organised, locally focussed campaign can obstruct the idiotic ambitions of a lunatic fringe Tory council set on a path to perdition, dragging their hapless electorate with them.

The people of this borough made it emphatically clear that they would not stand for a major dismantling of their library service, and you backed down. This is people power, and this is why your administration so fears any expression of dissent, and any open debate, and why stage managed council meetings such as we had last evening are so horribly frustrating for anyone who values the principles of local democracy.

But what what else can you expect, citizens? This is not a democracy: this is Broken Barnet.