Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Another prediction from Mrs Angry: Goodbye One Barnet ...
Mrs Angry feels moved to make another prediction ... her spirit guide is whispering in her ear ... yes, yes ... ah ... aha, really? Goodness me.
In the audience tonight, is there a model for local government, with the initials O and B?
Stand up: don't be shy, dear.
Yes, you in the easycouncil orange t shirt ... I have a message from - from your uncle? Uncle Eric? It seems you are going on a journey. Sorry, Uncle Eric says he wants you to go on a long journey, and never come home. He says you are a fucking disgrace. Tut tut: harsh words, Uncle Eric.
And what is this? Mrs Angry sees that you are going to run away, in shame, and assume a new identity. And then come home and try to sneak in the back door. Oh, but changing your name isn't going to help, though, is it?
Yes, citizens: Mrs Angry understands that there are plots afoot to drop One Barnet.
No, not the programme, the name.
Can't drop the programme: this would be like cancelling Christmas - think of all the tearful chief executives in all those multi-national outsourcing companies, with hankies pressed against their eyes, thinking about their lost bonuses. Too cruel. And some of those overpaid senior officers at Barnet Council would be in big trouble too, wouldn't they?
Some insightful people in the management team and a handful of Tory councillors now think that if you rename, rebrand a discredited concept, you can fool at least some of the people some of the time, and conjure up a wholesome new image for themselves and their shameful agenda, just in time for the run up to May's elections, where certain GLA members that we all know and love are due to get a well deserved hammering.
Mrs Angry would respectfully point out that spray painting a pile of shite will not resolve the problem of the appalling stench of rotting policies, widescale incompetence and endemic moral corruption, here in Broken Barnet.
Still, what fun: a metamorphosis of Ovidian proportions: easycouncil to Futureshape, Futureshape to One Barnet, and One Barnet to ... ?
Perhaps we should run a competition for suggestions?
Yes, let's: the best name will win a weekend at Champneys with Mrs Angry, or Michael Gove. Take your pick. The runner up will win a weekend at the Sandbanks Hotel, Poole, with [name redacted – s40(2) FOIA] - a senior officer of the London Borough of Barnet. (Mrs Angry, shamefully, is not a fully registered data processor, but always complies with the DPA & FOIA, and the European Convention on Human Rights - when anyone is watching).