Friday, 28 September 2012

Friday joke: No sackcloth and ashes for Brian Coleman

 "Then tidings reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, and covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. 

And he made proclamation and published through Nineveh, "By the decree of the king and his nobles: 

Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything; let them not feed, or drink water, but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them cry mightily to God; yea, let every one turn from his evil way and from the violence which is in his hands." 

(Jonah 3:3-8)

'LOL ... ' (Brian Coleman, The King of Bling is Not Sacked, 27/09/12)
After the most extraordinary couple of weeks of controversy surrounding the behaviour of Barnet councillor Brian Coleman, and a meeting yesterday at which Barnet Tory leader Richard Cornelius was due to 'speak to' Coleman, what has happened?


No statement, no suspension, no removal of the Tory whip, no criticism of his behaviour, no censure, no apology for his behaviour, either from the man himself, or his group leader.

In the last week or so this councillor has been arrested on suspicion of common assault of a woman, directed insulting remarks at the public gallery informing residents that they were 'sad, mad, bad, and a couple of old hags', and he has ignored a formal ruling that he must apologise to two residents after sending them abusive emails, accusing an Israeli of being an 'anti-semite', and comparing a woman to a 'blackshirt'.

He has also not only insulted Mrs Angry inside the council chamber, and outside the council chamber, and made ludicrous, defamatory remarks about her in his self pleasuring blog, all of which has been the subject of complaint to Cornelius, on three occasions, and all of which have been completely ignored. A further complaint to deputy leader Cllr John Thomas has also been ignored. A formal complaint to the council has been, yep, ignored, after querying the protocol of the pointless new Standards system, whose fatal flaw is that the ultimate judge is the Tory party leader, ie Richard Cornelius, who is himself alleged to have been laughing and applauding Coleman's remarks in the council chamber.

*Updated: you may care to note that although Cornelius, in true Barnet Tory misogynist tradition, refuses to respond to Mrs Angry's correspondence, he is happy to confide his views to another chap, who has not been the victim of Coleman's recent offensive outbursts - see the Barnet Eye ...  

Barnet Council informed Mrs Angry that they would not be making any statement about the arrest of Barnet Councillor Brian Coleman, because it is nothing to do with Barnet Council.

Barnet Council's leader Cornelius simply will not make any criticism of his Tory pal.

Backbench Tory councillors privately express themselves appalled at certain recent events, but fail to disassociate themselves from them by speaking publicly. They also fail to understand that the negative publicity engendered by this individual in anyway reflects on them as a party, and as the administration running the borough. In short, they are in complete denial about the mire into which they are rapidly sinking.

In the meanwhile, a totally discredited leader has demonstrably lost control of the £1 billion outsourcing programme that has been carefully engineered by the senior management team in tendem with some helpful consultants, paid £250,000 a month by us, the residents, and as the leader himself explained, 'closeted with the bidders', who stand to profit so handsomely from our council services once they get their slavering mouths fixed on our corporate body.

So: nothing happens, life continues, Brian Coleman sits down in his low rent, charity owned flat and writes another blog, published yesterday.

Brian is looking forward to the Lord Mayor's show, he tells us, with feverish excitement. He adores all the faded ritual and moth eaten traditions of corporate City life, of course, and talks enviously about the honours, knighthoods, CBEs,  won or not won by the various old codgers he hangs about with, clinging on to the fraying coat tails of City life. Poor old boy, waltzing about with that old GLC medal on a ribbon just doesn't compare, does it?

Hmm. Mrs Angry's best friend has an OBE, Brian, you know, and well deserved, in her case. Can't tell you why, but it involved hard work, and selfless dedication to the best interests of the country.  And the thing is, honours have to be won for those reasons, for service to the community, Councillor Coleman, not for going out to lunch, falling asleep in your office, and insulting the community you are supposed to represent.

He tells us all about a lovely evening he had this week, as a member of his livery company:

I enjoyed dinner of Smoked haddock and chive crushed potato fishcake, followed by beef and chocolate and raspberry brownies with my Livery Company (The Farriers) the other evening at Vintners Hall ...

Marvellous. Yes: Brian is a member of the Worshipful Company of Farriers, which is an historic body supporting the ancient rights and privileges of tradesmen working with horses, reshoeing them and so on. Yes: a load of cobblers. 

At the Lord Mayor's show, we are told, Councillor Coleman will be parading with his mates through the City streets, led by the company Master, Major General Sir Evelyn Webb-Carter, KCVO, OBE, DL:

In his address Sir Evelyn outlined plans for his year of office including the Company’s participation in the Lord Mayor’s Show where the Major General (a fine horseman) will lead the Farriers float through the City streets with me and 50 other Liverymen dressed apparently in Hessian tabards (not sackcloth and ashes).

No sackcloth and ashes.

In other words, he does not give a a flying f*ck about recent events, will not apologise for his behaviour, and is carrying on as normal.

Of course Councillor Brian Coleman has an appointment with Her Majesty's constabulary before then, being currently on bail on suspicion of common assault, and is due to return to be told the result of their investigations at the end of next month. Let us hope this does not interfere with his social engagements.

Indeed, Mrs Angry prays most fervently that he will still be at liberty to wear the hessian tabard and travel through the streets of the City of London for the entertainment of the grateful plebs. Mrs Angry imagines that, in response, some Barnet residents may wish to visit the parade and demonstrate their fondness for Councillor Brian Coleman with helpful placards and banners, and loudly voiced expressions of admiration and encouragement.

Sitting by the phone now, waiting for that call from SO15.


Mrs Angry is so desperate to escape Broken Barnet, she has decided to go to Manchester, to pretend to attend the Labour Conference, but will be bunking off as much as possible.  She may or may not blog, but will tweet from time to time. Try to make your own entertainment while she is gone. x


Don't Call Me Dave said...

Mrs Angry

You correctly point out that backbench councillors have failed to disassociate themselves from Brian Coleman. Are they really so stupid that they cannot see the electoral folly of their intransigence.

United they fall. Divided they stand. (c) 2012 DCMD.

Mrs Angry said...


Mrs Angry said...

Footnote: 'A Reader' has pointed out that the passage re Jonah is read during the service for Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, where repentence for sins committed in the previous year is expected. Mrs Angry imagines that, regrettably, Cllr Coleman, as a practising Methodist, is exempt from any such requirement.

Vicki Morris aka Citizen Barnet said...

I think if we were to go and pelt him with rotten fruit and vegetables, we would be carried shoulder-high, no, Mrs A? What date was it?

Mrs Angry said...

I imagine we would immediately be offered the freedom of the City of London, Citizen Barnet, for services rendered to democracy, and for the craic. I shall start stockpiling the uneaten nectarines & tomatoes from my fridge.

Mrs Angry said...

...I've been wondering in the small hours this morning why being a Methodist requires so much practice. Perhaps they keep moving the exam boundaries, & he keeps failing. Easier being a Catholic, as you fail whatever you do.

Anyway, Citizen Barnet: will meet up with you tomorrow, hopefully ...

Anonymous said...

In my veterinary days I used to know some of the Worshipful Company of Farriers. They had standards then.
I wonder if they have views on the conduct of those admitted to their livery company, and how they enforce them?

Mrs Angry said...

Hmm. Good point, Mr Roper, although I am not sure why you are pretending to be James Herriot, when you are a librarian, and the Broken Barnet racing correspondent.